


It all started with a meltdown

by gayming_nerd



Category: Homestuck
Genre: America, Autistic Nepeta, Comforting, F/F, Humanstuck, Jade and nepeta are shit at talking about feelings, Jade is just sweet af, Panic Attack, Schhol, Sweden - Freeform, Swedish, Swedish nepeta, autistic dave, feferi is just adorable, fika, highschool, i put in funny Swedish words cuz I’m a weird Swede, meltdowns, nepeta never had a crush on karkat cuz she is gay and kk is her brother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:08:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24789769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayming_nerd/pseuds/gayming_nerd
Summary: You liked the feeling of being close to her. It made your chest feel weird. Your friend Equius had asked if it made you feel butterflies in your stomach, but that made no sense. Why would butterflies be im your stomach? You had never eaten one. Okey that was a lie. You ate one when you were younger since you loved cats, you wanted to be one. You copied what your cat did then and ate a butterfly. But you don’t think Equius was referring to that…
Relationships: Aradia Megido/Feferi Peixes, Jade Harley/Nepeta Leijon, Jane Crocker/Roxy Lalonde, Meulin Leijon/Kurloz Makara, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	1. Holy crap it’s school-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a way of venting a bit about my autism but I really hope you guys like it!

First day of school.  
Holy crap you were nervous. You don’t even remember the last time you felt like this. Ok you did.   
It was the first time you met your parents co workers over dinner. You tried by tugging your older sisters sleeve to let her know you wanted to go but she was too busy flirting with the other guy there. You had turned to your older brother and he had followed you up and made you feel calmer by reading you your favorite book and got some of your comfort food; apple slices with cinnamon on top.

But, that feeling wasn’t exactly the same as this. Now you felt some kind of excitement. You were going to meet your online friend Jade for the first time. You would probably never admit this to anyone but you kinda had a crush on her. Your father’s friend had once told you that liking someone of the same sex is a sin and that you would never have a happy life if you loved a woman. But after a talk with your older sister who had told you that she had once been with a girl and that she has friends who enjoy woman’s company more, you started to think that the man was wrong. 

You moved here only a few weeks ago from Sweden and today school was supposed to start. And yeah, you were terrified. Jade had been gone all summer and got back yesterday night so she had no time to visit you. The situation wasn’t really made better with the fact that America has a different school system. The language on the other hand was no problem. 

You look at the clock one last time; 8:06. You should probably start going.

You kneel down to your cat to pet her before you leave.

Nepeta: goodbye Pounce!

The cat mewed back to you as she stroke around your leg. You kissed her nose and she licked you back. You loved your cat. She was the bestest friend you have ever had.

As you stand up you see your reflection in the mirror. You were clad in a black pleaded skirt that was no longer irritating against your legs since you had put on a pair of shorter leggings in black. You had a olive green tshirt with a cute cat print on. You smiled thinking how similar the cat on you shirt was to Pounce.

You grabbed your keys and opened the door making sure to lock it when you turn to walk. Deciding it was too quiet, you put in your headphones and choose on you playlist. The first song starts playing: Somewhere Only We Know by Darren Criss, and you start to sing in you head.

Once you reach the school you realize how many people is here. A boy with black hair walks up to you and looks at you with a curious look

John: do you happen to be Nepeta Lejion?  
Nepeta: uhhhh yes?  
John: perfect! Follow me!

The boy grabbed you arm with a bit strength. Not softly like other people did. It was comforting in a way that was new to you. It made you happy.

John: Jade I found her!

Jade? No it couldn’t be… 

Jade: nepeta!

It was her. You heart fluttered when you saw her green eyes open. Green. Your favorite color. Her long black hair was tied Into a high ponytail with a small braid in it. You remembered that you had forgot to brush your golden hair that morning. 

Jade got closer to you and she gave you a very tight hug, just like you liked it.

You remember the day you got your diagnosis. You had told Jade later that day and she had sent the sweetest messages to you to let you know she would be there for you if you ever needed or wanted her there. She had told you that it explained why you acted the way you did, not that is was anything wrong with it she had said. You had learned that one of her friends Dave was also diagnosed with the same thing a while later. 

Jade: it’s so nice to finally meet you!  
Nepeta: it’s great to see you too Jade! 

You may or may not have jumped up and down with her as the two of you spoke. Once you realized that everyone had been watching you became more aware of yourself and started to feel embarrassed.

Jade: oh right, this is my friends

Jade motioned towards the group of people behind her. There was a blonde girl who stood next to a darker skinned girl. They were holding hands. Beside them there was yet another blond. This time it was a dude. He look extremely similar to the blonde girl. To the right of him stood two girls, one with darker skin and blonde hair, the other one with very pale skin and dark hair. Next to them stood a girl with long blonde hair with a blue streak in in it and a girl next to her who had shorter red hair. Both of them had glasses. That alone was a lot of people… yet there still stemmed to be more. When you realitet this you starter to freak out. 

You felt a hand grab yours before you could think of it you felt teras run down your cheek.

Dave: do you wanna go away for a bit

You nodded slowly and your eyes traveled to Jade. You both avoided eye contact.

Jade: I’m coming with you.  
Dave: let’s go then

The three of you made it inside and sat away from every other human being.

Dave: are you ok  
Dave: dude you need to breath  
Dave: can you try breathing in a square  
Dave: like you breath in two seconds, hold your breath, breath out and then hold and then repeat  
Dave: Jade, please distract her  
Dave: not sure if anything else works  
Dave: never met the chick before  
Jade: how are you feeling nep? :(  
Nepeta: better I think  
Nepeta: how did you know about the breathing and distraction thing?  
Dave: I’m autistic to dude I know the pain

You smiled at the blond boy who you assumed were Dave. He held up his hand probably signaling to you to give him a brofist.

Dave: Im gonna leave the two of you alone now  
Dave: have a good one  
Dave: later  
Jade: I’m sorry about earlier... I should have been more aware :(  
Nepeta: it’s fine Jade! It’s not your fault! I didn’t expect it is all!  
Jade: it’s so weird that you are actually here...  
Jade: is it ok if I hug you?  
Nepeta: yeah!

The two of you sat there for a while, just hugging. You can smell her perfume. It’s light and smells like pear. They are also green. You know she also liked the color. If it wasn’t for the fact that the bell had rung, the two of you may have sat there for a very long time. The two of you hurried to stand up.

Jade: what’s your first class?  
Nepeta: English  
Jade: perfect! That’s mine too, I’ll take you there!

You followed Jade through the corridors and the entire way you held her hand. It was really soft. You liked the feeling of being close to her. It made your chest feel weird. Your friend Equius had asked if it made you feel butterflies in your stomach, but that made no sense. Why would butterflies be in your stomach? You had never eaten one. Okey that was a lie. You ate one when you were younger since you loved cats, you wanted to be one. You copied what your cat did then and ate a butterfly. But you don’t think Equius was referring to that…

Whatever this feeling was called, you sure liked it.


	2. You like video games?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade asked Nep if she wnated to go home with her. Things go fine until Jade do something out of the blue.

Once the the two of you reached the classroom all students except you were there except the two of you. The two blonde girls you had seen earlier was there. The blonde with the short hair was reading a book which seemed to be about witch craft of some sort. The blonde with the blue highlight folded a paper airplane and threw it at a boy with a mowhawk. He looked hurt. He had a sad expression and his eyes were looking down.

Rose: you don’t think it’s time to stop, Vriska?  
Vriska: shut it Lalonde, you just wish you were as 8adass as me::::)  
Rose: not really but I suppose you can believe that if it helps you sleep at night.  
Vriska: shut up!!!!!!!!

The yelling had made you uncomfortable and you were fearing another meltdown. This time Jade took your hand and squeezed tightly.

Jade: I got you! 

Her whispering was reassuring and it made your chest feel all crazy and warm. It was that feeling again. 

The teacher walked in and told everyone to settle down. Jade dragged to yo the two last spots in the back for you to sit by. The teacher welcomed the class back and was just starting to introduce you. You tried to hide the anxiety by smiling. You just wanted this to be over.

For some god forsaken reason the teacher had decided to give you an assignment on getting to know each other. Most of there’s people were apparently all from the same school but almost have of you were new.   
Thankfully you were paired with Jade. Then came a hairless named Rose. Rose turned out to be the shorter blonde who had read the book about witch craft. Jade was really excited to have her in the group. The last me ever what the other blonde. Vriska. From what you had seen earlier she was a huge bitch. You hope you can stay away from her as much as you can. Even though she gave you the “I’m a total badass and I don’t give a crap about what anyone thinks” vibe, she held out her hand waiting for you to shake it.

You took her hand very firmly and she smiled at you. Maybe she wasn’t so bad? 

The four of you started on the project and tried to go find thing you all had in common. The first thing you found out was that all of them liked D&D a game you really admired yourself. You all really liked animals and had pets yourself. Both you and Rose had cats, Jade had a dog an Vriska… well, she had a spider. Spider creeped you out, but she mentioned she likes cats so you made an exception. 

The class went on as normal and you started to get more comfortable with Rose and Vriska as the time passed. You swore you could have sat and talked to Rose about cats all ya if it weren’t for the fact that the bell rang signaling that the call was over.

And so did the day continue. You went from class to class, luckily you had all classes with either Jade or Dave. Both were extremely cool you thought. As the day came to an end, Jad had already asked you if you could spend the rest of the day together. Even though you were tired you really wanted to spend time with her so of course you said yes.

The two of you were walking to her house witch seemed to be the same was as to where you lived. When you realized she was walking towards the house beside yours to were super surprised! It made you happy to know that your favorite person in the world was your next door neighbor. You thought it was weird how a single person could make you this happy. 

The two of you passed through the door and was immediately welcomed by the smell of baked goods. The smell circled through the air making your moth almost water. 

Jade: welcome to the harley/egbert/crocker/english household!

You looked around the house only to find the boy you think his name was John and an older looking girl who looked like if Jade and John were the same person but a bit older. She was pretty. Probably because she reminded you of Jade. She was too young to be Jades mom so you assumed she was their older sister.

Jane: Hello. You must be Nepeta.  
Nepeta: Yes I am!

Even if she reminded you of John, she was more laid back and gave you some space. You appreciated that.

Jade: Nepeta, this is my older sister jane!  
Nepeta: it’s nice to meet you!  
Jane: you guys couldn’t have come a better time! Me and John just god done baking the last batch of these cookies. There is still more that needs to be done but we still have quite a few more things to bake!  
Jane: would you like some?  
Jade: yessssssssssss! Thank you jane!!  
John: hey nepeta!  
John: I’m glad you feel better

Why were all these strangers so nice to you? People were never nice. Once they knew something was wrong with you they started hating you and thinking you were a horrible person. But you knew Jade was different. Jade would never hurt a fly. That’s a lie. Jade has been hunting since she was a child. You know this because you and her often used to roleplay as huntresses together. Jade would never hurt her friends emotionally intentionally. 

You walked trough the big house. They were also 4 siblings. Though all of them were biological. You had the same blood as Meulin. Not Kankri and Karkat. Of course you didn’t share blood with Meulin, that would be disgusting.

Painting and pictures were hang over the halls. Some had names on them, some didn’t. You could tell one of them was of Jade even without a label. She had the exact same smile and her “forgetme nots”were tied around her fingers. She still wore them to this day. You passed door after door until, you stopped at a door with a rainbow flag nailed to it. That flag… it’s the gay rainbow flag… the umbrella flag for all lgbtq+ people. You knew a lot about this subject, being a lesbian who is autistic and all. You almost think it could be classified as a special interest. But you had no idea Jade was in the lgbtq+ community.

Jade led you through the door and motioned for you to walk in. You open the door and the first thing you see is the background you always saw in you video calls. The Squiddles posters hung up carefully and the diplomas she had gotten through out the years. There was one specific for a musical competition. You have heard her play the guitar, she is really good. Her voice is amazing too. It’s very soothing.

Jade: so, what do you feel like doing?  
Nepeta: I don’t know... what do people usually do?  
Jade: well, me and the other usually play games!  
Nepeta: what kind of games?  
Jade: well, either it’s video games or party games like truth or dare!!  
Jade: it probably easier to play video games since we are only two people  
Nepeta: let’s play then!

It was a while ago you had felt this happy. Jade really was one of the best people in your life.

You and Jade played a lot of games that day but when you both got bored of everything else, you both decided to play Minecraft. The two of you were building a house together and it looked pretty damn good if you could say so yourself. 

Jade: do you like anyone?

That was random. Had she managed to figure out you liked her? No, she couldn’t. You hadn’t mentioned it like that in anyway. Instead of looking at her your eyes focused on the screen and answered her honestly.

Nepeta:yes, I kinda do actually...  
Jade: who is it???  
Nepeta: umm well, I like all of my friends...  
Nepeta: but you are definitely the one I like the most  
Jade: I... that’s cool!

She didn’t say anything back. Is she weirded out by you. You do after all have a crush on your best friend… 

That night you leave with a feeling of regret. You should have not told her at all. Did you ruin it? Maybe. She did hug you goodbye. But was it sincere or was it just a thing she did? 

You wish she had said it back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will see how often I post, summer is killing me ^^;


	3. Fika?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta spend some time with Feferi and discover Jade has something she didn’t tell her.

No matter ho hard you tried to act like everything was normal, it was not. Days became weeks and weeks turned into months. Soon it was Christmas time, of course you were excited. It’s a valid excuse to spoil your friends with gifts and just relax from school.

Over the past four month, you had become really good friends with Feferi and Roxy, Rose older sister who was in the grade above you. But Jade, she would always be the one you held dearest. You would almost say you loved her. Her smile, it was so contagious, so was her laugh. You tried to spend more time with her, even when she tried to stay away.

You were currently out with Feferi. The two of you had decided to look for Christmas gift for Feferi’s girlfriend, Aradia and Jade. You wanted it to be special. You wanted to be in a relationship with Jade, but you knew she would reject you. So, to apologize for liking her you would get her the best gift ever. On the other hand… you don’t know what exactly to get her.

**Feferi: do you have any clue on w)(at to get Jade?**

**Nepeta: no clue, sadly**

**Nepeta: mew know her better, what does she like?**

**Feferi: Are you sure I know )(er better? You seem to )(ave a better connection to )(er?**

**Nepeta: no, she has been very distant recently...**

**Feferi: awe, you two would be so cute toget)(er t)(oug)(!**

**Nepeta: mew think so?**

**Feferi: dude- t)(e entire gang wants you two to get toget)(er!!!**

**Nepeta: I had no clue about that...**

Everyone shipped you. It gave you hope! Maybe Jade could like you? If Christmas miracles were real, you sure hoped that this year would be the one.

After many stores have been passed you think you finally found the perfect gift for Jade. A silver necklace with a heart around a cat and dog. You thought you could try to ask her what she felt once she had opened it.

**Nepeta: look!**

**Nepeta: it’s a coffee shop!**

**Nepeta: wanna sit down for a fika?**

**Feferi: a w)(at?**

**Nepeta: oh right... wanna grab something to eat or drink and talk?**

**Feferi: u)()()( shore!**

Feferi ordered an ice-coffe with Carmel. You hated coffee. The taste was so bitter. It made you wanna gag when you smelled it. You on the other hand ordered a mud cake (thank god they had it. You were about to go crazy from the lack of normal Swedish food) and an ice-tea. There was no better combo then those two.

You felt a joy getting to do something oh so familiar on an unknown ground. Feferi questioned why you asked her for a fika and you tried to explain a normal tradition from where you were from. Feferi seemed happy to learn about new things and boy did she use the term a lot after that.

And as if the day couldn’t seem to get any better, there she was. Her long black hair braided. She was wearing an over sized t shirt with long black jeans. She even had her hoodie tied around her waist. She was holding a bag covered in all different pride flags.

**Feferi: Jade! 38D**

**Jade: oh! hi ladies!!**

**Feferi: oh you checked out the new pride store! What did ya get?**

**Nepeta: There is a purride store?**

**Jade: yeah! It opened a while ago!**

**Feferi: wanna sit down with us? We are fika!**

**Nepeta: it’s called “having a fika” or “we fikar” grammar Fef**

Jade sat down with you and Feferi and the three of you started talking about different things to get from the store. Jade grabbed her bag and held up the flag she had bought.

**Nepeta: that’s the genderfluid flag!**

Jade looked horrified. Did you do something wrong? You just said the flags name. You knew this because you had studied the pride flags the best you could. You were fascinated by the time you spent trying to learn it. But it did you good when you were at pride parades. It’s easier to spot people who shouldn’t be there. Like MAP people. You really hated them.

**Jade:uhh, yeah... it’s for... umm...**

**Feferi: you?**

**Jade: no!!! of course not heheh, that... that would be stupid**

**Jade: it’s for... my friend?**

**Feferi: wh** **o?**

**Jade** **: oh, ya know... umm an online friend... named... umm...**

**Jade: dave... peta?**

**Feferi: davepeta? Who is-**

**Jade: you don’t know them! they... they just came out?**

Jade seemed extremely tense. It made you worried. Who was Davepeta? You knew all the people Jade talked to, she told you everything! Jade quickly rushed away claiming she needed to post the package before the post office closed. You said your goodbyes and you and feferi decided to go home yourself. You grabbed your bags and then left for home.

**Nepeta: I’m home!**

**Kankri: hell9 dear sister did y9u have a pleasant time with y9ur friend?**

**Karkat: DO YOU THINK YOU COULD ACT NORMAL FOR ONCE YOU FUCKTARD. WE ARE STILL NOT BIOLOGICALLY RELATED TO HER.**

**Kankri: that’s quite triggering Karkat, please warn us 6ef9re y9u speak like that.**

**Kankri: I w9uld rec9mend y9u av9iding yelling at 9ur sister.**

**Nepeta: I... where is Meulin?**

**Kankri: in her r99m I w9uld 6elieve**

**Nepeta: Thanks**

You hung your jacket over the clothing hanger and tip toed up the stairs. Walking past both your brothers did make you realize just how different you both were. You and Karkat that is. He is a loud insensitive shit head that didn’t give a fuck about what anyone thought about him. And you were a quiet person who was over sensitive to everything and tried to make sure everyone was ok. You knew Karkat meant well, at least sometimes. But his words still hurt you a bit.

**Nepeta: Meu?**

**Meulin: Nep!!! HIII!**

**Meulin: what’s up?**

**Meulin: are mew crying?!**

**Meulin: oh my sweet baby!**

**Meulin: what happened???**

**Nepeta: Jade...**

**Meulin: what did she do!?**

**Nepeta: I think she might like someone else...**

Your heart and hands started to hurt saying those words. It seemed to be a pattern. Whenever something sad happened, your hands started to hurt. Usually a lot.

You sat by your sister for a long time. Just feeling her pet your head, just like she used to do when you were younger. It was a coping mechanism when your mom and biological dad used to argue. You barley remember him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me being lazy af I used words reader to detect spelling errors... the way They said Aradia and Karkat killed me.   
> Also, I am aware that Nepeta has no rights to know everything Jade does, it’s just a part of the brain that makes it up to be for some people. :)


	4. Yelling and crying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are hungover, your friend is freaking out and your crush is crying...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is a bit of a vent bc I’m putting the characters through shit I also go through. Next chapter we will be back to the main plot. If you don’t wanna read abt Jane being mad at her mom you could skip but it might make less sense later-

You are no longer Nepeta Lejion. Instead you are Roxy lalonde.  
It was a early Saturday morning and if it wasn’t for the fact that one of your best friends had a crisis, you would be asleep.  
07:27  
That was already wayyyy to early for you. But still, here you were. Nepeta had texted you earlier about Jade. Apparently Jade had a new friend she haven’t told nepeta about. Of course you were worried if nepeta was ok but you really thought it was normal. If Jade had friends she didn’t tell Nepeta about, that should be fine.

You did understand Nepeta’s worry and if it wasn’t for the hangover, you would have texted her a long paragraph about the situation.

Oh yeah, you we’re hungover. Last night you had a bit too much to drink. Your sister attempted to stop you but she ended up drinking with you. 

Last night may not have been great but you did get to spend time with your sister. Even if that time you both were intoxicated… 

Dirk: Rolal, you have a visitor   
Roxy: now?  
Roxy: it’s too earlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy  
Jane: Roxy?  
Roxy: Janey.

Holy shit, Crocker was here. You were still in bed. The clock was still only half past seven the hell girl?

Jane: Roxy... 

When you could see Jane clearly, you noticed her red puffy eyes. She looked broken… 

When you saw the girl with black hair stand there, you quite literally jumped out of bed hugging her tightly.

Roxy: Janeyyy what happened :(  
Jane: my... my mom...  
Roxy: what did she do!?

This wasn’t something new. Jane has had problems with her mom since you could remember. Her mom wasn’t really a nice person. Jane’s mom didn’t live at home anymore, she left once Jade was born and never came back unless it was to torment Jane. 

Sometimes you wish you could grab Jane and kidnap her so she could live with you to let her escape for her mom. 

Jane: She... She keeps yelling at me for things I don’t do...  
Jane: It’s like she wishes I didn’t exist...   
Roxy: awe Janey :(  
Jane: I just really want to go away. To just... Not live anymore?  
Roxy: noooo Janey don’t say that :(  
Roxy: I don’t want you to go!  
Roxy: if you were to leave I wouldn’t wanna be here either

The two of you sat talking, wishing the pain would all disappear. But it never did. The talk started to fade and soon you were just hugging and crying. 

Jane: I’m sorry Roxy...  
Roxy: don’t say that janeyyy  
Roxy: you don’t have to be sorry for what ur mom do  
Roxy: there is really nothing you can do about it :(

Why couldn’t you just live a good life?


	5. Meulin is a c**kblocker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade talks to nepeta but no one is really sure how their relationship will turn out to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be going on vacation later this week so it will hopefully give me time to write! Anyways, here is another chapter

You are now Jade Harley. Yesterday you were almost caught. Nepeta had seen you flag and immediately recognized it. Was it good? Would she be ok with you having a different identity? Fuck! This was driving you insane!

**John: Hey, you ok there Jade?**

**Jade: yeah...**

**John: You don’t sound like you are okey?**

**Jade: it’s nothing! i’m fine! promise**

You brother may be stupid but he still has some sort of brain. He was also your brother. He knew when something was up. Sure, he may not have those super twin powers as Dave and Rose has but it was surely something. John wasn’t as good as reading emotions as Rose. You wanted her here instead. Or even better Nepeta… You loved her. More than you were able to admit. You had known her for so many years and the two of you told each other everything. It made you feel bad for lying to her about this. You hoped nepeta would understand.

You decide to go to your computer to see if you newest game was done downloading.

You see you have gotten a notification from Pesterchum. It was Nepeta…

ArsenicCatnip [AC] started Pestering gardenGnositc [GG] at 5:32 pm

**AC: :33 > *AC sneaks up on her friend in an attempt to scare her***

**GG: *GG is surprised by AC talking to her all of a sudden* ?**

**AC: :33 > *AC looks at her friend with a confused look***

**AC: :33 > *AC wonders why it’s confusing why she is talking to her**

**Friend***

**GG: I was... well, not very nice to you...**

**AC: :33 > *AC does not understand why Jade would think she wasn’t nice to the mighty huntress***

**GG: i wasn’t honest with you!**

**GG: i don’t have a friend named davepeta...**

**AC: :33 > then why did you say so? Wasn’t that kinda stupid?**

**AC: :33 > wait**

**AC: :33 > so who was the flag for?**

**GG: the flag was for me. nepeta I’m genderfluid...**

**GG: nepeta?**

**GG: you still there?**

**GG: i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to tell you like this but i wasn’t sure how i would tell you!**

**GG: i was also scared you wouldn’t be ok with it. i wanted to wait to see if you would be cool with it but I guess it’s a bit too late to say all this now ^^;**

**GG: nepeta?**

**GG: i’m sorry...**

**AC: :33 > *AC is happy that her friend felt save enough to tell her that they were genderfluid***

**AC: :33 > *The mighty huntress is also wondering what pronouns and name/names she should use for her friend?***

**GG: *Jade hugs their friend as they tell nepeta that they are fine with whatever pronouns***

**GG: oh and i’m sticking to jade! :)**

**AC: :33 > *AC wonders if it’s an appropriate time to invite her friend over for a smaller sleepover with her other friends?***

**GG: *Jade thinks it’s a wonderful idea and they would be honored***

**AC: :33 > *AC stands on the balcony waving to get Jades attention***

You turn around and leave you computer on as you rush out of your room to the balcony. You are met with a very cute cat girl waving to you.

Nepeta was wearing a white poofy skirt with a black long sleeved shirt that showed some cleavage. You wanted to look away but come on, you are a 16 year old staring at the girl you like!

**NEPETA: Hi jade!**

**JADE: hi nep!**

**NEPETA: You wanna come over now already?**

**JADE: on my way!**

Both of you disappeared back into your houses and before you decided to try to brush you hair. It was currently pulled back into a low ponytail.

After a minute of attempting to tame the mane, you grabbed you jacket and ran out the door yelling that you would be at Nepeta’s place for the night.

You knocked on the door. Nepeta was quick to open and she hugged you tightly. She was a bit shorter than you so you kneeled down a bit to hug her properly.

**NEPETA: my parents are out tonight and so is Karkitty and Kankitty so Meu thought it would be fun if I spent some time with friends!**

**JADE: that actually very smart!**

**JADE: are you sure it won’t be to much though?**

**JADE: i mean, depending how many it is?**

**JADE: and aren’t your parents more cautious with letting you be with so many friends when they aren’t around?**

**NEPETA: Both mom and pa are aware! They left Meulin home in case something happens!**

**NEPETA: and I also said you would be here! They trust you!**

**NEPETA: besides, it’s just you, me, Rose, Kanaya, Feferi and Aradia**

**JADE: well... that’s good! :)**

The two of you became quiet quickly. You were slowly letting go of the tight hug you held her in. Nepeta’s arms still around you, you got a closer look at her face. The small freckles surrounding her nose and green eyes. Her eyelids covered with green glitter and a small line of black eyeliner.

Nepeta’s eyes drifted away from you. Please don’t say I made her anxious… but her arms were still holding you. Her eyes soon looked back at you. You both seemed to move closer together and before you knew it, Nepeta’s lips were on yours. They were slightly chapped, probably from the cold.

**MEULIN: As adorable as the two of you are, I will have to interrupt you!**

**NEPETA: I**

**NEPETA: Jade I am so sorry!**

**JADE: Don’t be!**

**JADE: I... umm**

**JADE: I kinda enjoyed it actually**

**MEULIN: guys! I just told you to stop?**

**MEULIN: I need help with the food to get it here!**

**MEULIN: Get in the car people!**


	6. Kissed by a dream

You, Nepeta and Meulin drove to the nearest pizza place to get the food needed for the party. You were very nervous. You knew what to do if Nepeta had a meltdown and all, but you still cared too much to let yourself relax.

MEULIN: we are here!  
NEPETA: I’m not even sure what people like honestly...  
JADE: as long as you don’t just get all pineapple pizza, I think you are safe  
MEULIN: I still don’t understand how she can eat it  
NEPETA: you opinion is invalid

Nepeta started skipping away from the car holding the door open for you.

JADE: it pretty good though  
JADE: but it’s very frowned upon

The tree of you ordered the food you were gonna get and after a 5 minute ride back, you were at the Leijon’s house again. 

You still thought about the kiss. It was nice. Very nice. You wanted it again. No you craved it. Her sweet chapped pink lips… it was something about them that pulled you in. 

NEPETA: Rose just texted...  
NEPETA: Apparently she and Kanaya can’t make it, something came up and they had to make other plans  
MEULIN: probably sex-  
NEPETA: Meulin!  
MEULIN: What? It’s probably true!  
JADE: but four should still work!  
MEULIN: nope, just the two of you. Meenah texted, Fef was grounded and Aradia is not allowed to go unless Feferi or Kanaya is there  
NEPETA: awe :((  
JADE: if the others aren’t gonna be here, maybe I should leave?  
MEULIN: no! Nepeta needs someone to keep her company ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
NEPETA: It would be fun if you stayed but you really don’t need to!  
NEPETA: especially after what happened before...  
JADE: I’d like that, there is still a lot of pizza that needs to be eaten! :)  
NEPETA: :))

You really loved this girl. Her sweet smile. Her sparkling eyes. 

The rest of the night was spent with the two of you playing games, everything from sims to Minecraft. 2 pizzas were devoured quickly and then put the other 3 in the fridge. You could at least save them for her other siblings to make them happy. 

When the clock stroke 1am, both you and Nepeta where exhausted. And well, no one was really surprised.

The air was cool, you felt the breeze on your bare shoulders as you stood there, waiting to see the love of your life. It took time to decide if you were gonna wear a dress or tux, but after going to the store you fell in love with the dress. You never thought you were going to wear a wedding dress, much less actually get married. But when she reached her 22nd birthday you decided it was time. And she said yes. Those events had led you to this point. The wedding cake trying, the dresses, all the planning had come down to this. 

Then you saw her. She looked so pretty. No. She looked beautiful, outstanding, ummm… you didn’t know more words on how to describe her.

NEPETA: I was always told I saw life in every color possible, but until I met you; the color didn’t make sense. It was like looking at a painting from far away. Seeing something is there but not understanding what. When we first met in person, the picture suddenly became clearer. When we first kissed, all the colors were viberent. I could make out what I saw.  
NEPETA: You were always there for me, whether I liked it or not. But in the end, it payed off after suffering through your endless talks about dogs when I’d so much rather talk about cats. But after all that time, I’m so happy I will get to do it for the rest of our lives. Even if you can be a bit annoying and pushy, it had helped me so much! And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

JADE: to think that the biggest reason why were are standing here is because of a breakdown you had the first day of school. The day you told me that you was diagnosed as a nero-divergent, I swore that I would do anything to protect you, to always make you feel safe. That was 10 years ago. I will today be able to finally make it official. 

You were told to kiss her. And trust by the gods that’s that exactly what you did.

Just as you were about to let go, you felt a slight pressure on your shoulder.

NEPETA: Jade...  
NEPETA: Jade?  
NEPETA: Jade...?

You were awoken by a tap on your shoulder. When you opened your eyes you were met by two olive green eyes staring into your pale green eyes.

JADE: nepeta! what happened?  
NEPETA: I... um  
NEPETA: I had a nightmare  
JADE: awe Nep, I’m sorry  
JADE: do you wanna talk about it?  
NEPETA: can I just stay here with you?  
JADE: of course

You moved over the mattress so there was enough space for the other girl. 

JADE: hey nep?  
NEPETA: mhm?  
JADE: do you ever wonder what would have happened if we never met?  
NEPETA: I don’t really know... maybe we would have met in school since we ended up here?  
JADE: maybe...  
JADE: I at least don’t think I would have ever come out so early as to being a lesbian..  
JADE: wait... am I ever allowed to call myself that? Seeing as I identify as both male, female and things in between?  
JADE: I mean, is it a thing?  
NEPETA: I mean, if you feel like identifying as a lesbian then I would say go for it! :)  
JADE: ...  
NEPETA: ...  
JADE:...  
NEPETA:...  
JADE: hey Nep?  
NEPETA: mmm  
JADE: i... umm  
JADE: I love you... :P  
NEPETA: you do?  
JADE: umm yeah... it’s like, I don’t know. Everytime you talk, you voice makes my stomach feel all funny. And when you smile- it’s almost like staring into the sun. The brightest of smiles that just warms my heart!  
JADE: (Not literally warms my heart, but like it almost feels like it)  
NEPETA: well umm...  
JADE: it’s fine if you don’t like me that way!  
NEPETA: no wait!  
NEPETA: it’s not like that!  
NEPETA: I love you too  
JADE: I...  
JADE: you do?  
NEPETA: you are just mimicking me now XD  
JADE: well, I really didn’t expect that...  
NEPETA: dude, I kissed you less than 12 hours ago!  
JADE: oh...  
JADE: I thought you were just being nice...  
JADE: that you... honestly I don’t know  
NEPETA: you are such a useless lesbian Jade :P  
JADE: so are you nep, so are you!  
NEPETA: oh right!  
NEPETA: I got this for you as a Christmas present and it was meant as an apology gift for me liking you...  
NEPETA: and well... I don’t think it’s really an apology gift anymore ^^;  
JADE: nepeta...  
JADE: it’s beautiful!  
JADE: thank you so much  
JADE: mwah

You kissed nepeta. And oh did it feel right. And boy did you wanna do it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I realized all pll dong agree with “he/him lesbians and they/them lesbians“ but just know some ppl have a complicated relationship to their gender! I am a she/them lesbian so like, be nice.


	7. The secrets out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siblings has a talk about gender identity

You stop being Jade and start being John.

No. Saying John sounds wrong. You go by June when you are by yourself and also in you head.

You are currently on a quest to return the game controllers that your sister had stolen a couple days ago. You and your older siblings had decided to play games and Jade had stolen all the controllers.

As you enter Jade’s room, you see her computer screen open and slowly move towards it. You know that snooping though you sisters things isn’t nice, but you can’t help yourself! 

You start reading the conversation that was up on the computer.

Wait…

Jade is genderfluid? She didn’t tell you? You were her brother! Well… not really. It doesn’t matter at the moment, what matters is that Jade has kept a secret from you because she didn’t feel safe… you didn’t do you job as an older sibling.

JAKE: John?!  
JAKE: did you find the controllers?  
JUNE: uh... yeah!   
JUNE: coming!  
JANE: took you long enough lil bro  
JUNE: oh... yeah. Jade hid the controllers under pillows  
JAKE: that sly little girl  
JUNE: yeah heheh

All those words your siblings said. “Lil bro” “little girl”. You almost wish Jake had called you that. You also felt bad for your younger sibling who had been called little girl. Then again, no one knew except for you. 

You should probably talk to jade about it when she got back. But now, you should try to focus on beating your siblings at the game Jane had previously put in.

In the end, you ended up winning with Jane behind you and Jake in last place. You felt a wave of pride was over yourself. Even if it was just winning a game.

JADE: I’m home!  
JAKE: welcome back little sis  
JADE: thanks!  
JANE: I’m gonna go and bake something, I’ll be in the kitchen!  
JUNE: oh, right! Do you wanna play a game Jade?  
JADE: uh sure!  
JUNE: I like your necklace, by the way!  
JADE: thanks! Nepeta have it to me!  
JUNE: so, are you two an item now?  
JADE: I don’t know... I want to be! But like... I don’t know if she does...  
JUNE: I’m sorry to hear that...  
JUNE: but now that we are alone...  
JUNE: are you genderfluid?  
JADE: ...

Your little sibling buried their head in their hands. You decided to go over to them and offer Jade a hug.

JUNE: hey! Jade! Nothing is wrong with it! I still love you!   
JUNE: You are my little sibling and you mean the world to me!  
JUNE: and to be quite honest myself...  
JUNE: I ummm...  
JUNE: I’m not really cis myself...  
JADE: huh? Why?   
JADE: ok never mind that was a stupid question!  
JADE: how come you didn’t tell me?  
JUNE: I was scared!   
JADE: how come?   
JUNE: I have always been the “straight little dude who is the only straight and cis person in the family/ friend group”  
JUNE: but I’m not!  
JUNE: I’m a girl!  
JUNE: and a fucking lesbian!  
JADE: but you know our family is really accepting!  
JADE: no one would ever hurt you for wanting to be a girl  
JUNE: but you did the same thing!  
JADE: I guess we both have nothing to say then... heheheh  
JUNE: I guess you’re right...

You and your sibling say in silence on your bed. Staring into the wall with all posters around. You try to enjoy the silence but you still can’t help but feel that the conversation isn’t over. You also realized that you would have to tell your parents and sibling and friends too… in time you suppose. You weren’t extremely excited to tell them since you weren’t sure how they would react…

JADE: do you have a new name you would like to be called?   
JADE: I mean, I’m sticking with Jade but like, I’m guessing it’s kinda different since you are a female?  
JUNE: (June)  
JADE: hmm?  
JUNE: I was thinking about June...  
JADE: alright, June!  
JUNE: it sounds kinda weird   
JUNE: but like  
JUNE: a good weird  
JUNE: it’s like I finally feel home

It felt nice, you had always imagined what it would be like to be called June. Your real name. The way Jade has actually taken the time to talk to you and help you out.

JADE: I have an idea  
JADE: you wanna dress more feminine, and I wanna dress more masculine to be more androgynous  
JUNE: yeah?  
JADE: we can exchange some clothes!!  
JADE: we are already about the same size!  
JADE: you just have smaller chest which shouldn’t be a problem!  
JUNE: are you sure? I don’t wanna take something of yours that you like...  
JADE: of course! You are my sister!  
JADE: besides, I’m not really that much into dresses or skirts  
JADE: I don’t mind if you get some of them!!  
JUNE: thank you Jade!  
JUNE: it means more than you can imagine  
JAKE: I don’t mean to interrupt you two but Jane just finished baking and the two of you need to see this!

You and Jade followed you older brother down the stairs only to be greeted by Jane and your dad (who it would seem had come home from work while you were busy talking) standing at the founder with two “fancy” silver lids covering what seemed to be two plates.

JANE: Jade, you have always been the younger sister who stood up for everyone, no matter who it was or who it was too. You helped so many people.  
JANE: You helped Dave get his diagnosis which has helped him and the rest of the family a lot.   
JANE: you helped nepeta find herself! And now I hope the two of you will be extremely happy together!  
JANE: even if you are our younger sister, you are also our younger brother and younger sibling

Jane lifted the lid, and what was revealed was a cake with the colors of what looked like a pride flag. 

Jade started tearing up and soon Jade ran hugging Jane and dad. She cried really hard and it seemed like she wouldn’t stop anytime soon.

JAKE: Jade we love you no matter what you identify as. Even if it’s not biological, you will forever be valid in the extremely gay family.   
JANE: hey! I’m not gay!  
JAKE: are you sure? I thought you liked Roxy?

Jane started blushing which I assumed was because she was lying. It really did seem like Jane liked Roxy. At least the other way around.

JANE: anyways. There is something else we want to say.  
JANE: I want you to know, that we love you too  
JADE: June, you need to realize that this family will always love you!   
JANE: you don’t need to be scared to identify as a girl.

Once again a lid was lid and your eyes were led with the colors pink, blue and white. The trans flag. You felt you eyes tearing up just like Jade had. You ran up to Jane, Jake and your dad and hugged them. Jade joined in on the hug and all five of you stood there. Just crying and hugging. 

JANE: I also have a plan!  
JANE: so tomorrow I want both of you to not plan anything after school. And bring a friend if you wanna!  
JANE: and meet here tomorrow  
JANE: we are goin shopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High school has started✌️ So either the book will go easier since I have a computer now- or it will go slower since I have school...


	8. my shirt?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade and June comes out to their friends and nepeta gets in trouble

You are now Nepeta Lejion. Yesterday you got a text from Jade telling you and the rest of the gang to meet them and John earlier than normally. You were thankful for the text and getting a heads up. But you still seemed to be extremely tired. You quickly got dressed in a off-shoulder shirt and a knee-length pleaded skirt. You tried your hardest to keep your eyes open as you walked on the sidewalk to the beat of your music. People had told you to listen to rock music when you are tired to wake yourself up. I did not work. It honestly just made you more tired. You guessed you could at least listen to some good tunes while slowly falling asleep.

Finally you had reached the school yard only to be greeted by Rose and Aradia who stood there waiting. You were early. You looked down at your phone

07:13

You weren’t supposed to meet for another 7 minutes.

ROSE: hello nepeta. You seem to be early as well.  
NEPETA: myeah, I didn’t realize it was still a bit early...  
ROSE: well, at least you seem to have gotten some sleep. Which is kind of the opposite of Aradia over there.  
ARADIA: I did sleep!  
ROSE: yeah, like 20 minutes   
NEPETA: how do you even know that?  
ROSE: our dear Aradia’s girlfriend was seemingly asleep, as you should, and so Aradia spent the entire night messing me about cool facts and random thoughts.  
ARADIA: it was very important Rose!  
ARADIA: you are the smartest person in this group after all  
ARADIA: no offense Nep!  
NEPETA: none taken  
KANAYA: Hello Dear Friends  
NEPETA: hi Kanaya!  
ROSE: hello love  
ARADIA: how do you guys always end up sounding like an old married couple?  
ARADIA: like, you are cute and all. But you kinda get the feeling that you are an old married couple in the 50’  
NEPETA: I think that’s just how they talk I think...  
JOHN: hi guys!  
KANAYA: oh, hello there John!  
JADE: hiaaaaa!  
NEPETA: hi jade! :)

More people started dropping in and soon enough the entire gang was here. Vriska, Terezi, Tavros, Dave, Karkat (who had started hanging out with you a couple weeks ago), Feferi and Gamzee who had transferred two months ago.

JADE: ok now that everyone is here. We have some announcements to make.  
JADE: I know Nepeta knows one of them, but we also have another one so you can’t sleep just yet!  
VRISKA: just cut the cr8p and get to the point, will y8?  
JADE: shut up vriska. This is important!  
JADE: so, last week I saw nepeta and feferi and I started to freak out because I just just been at the pride store...  
TEREZI: 3V3RY ON3 4LR34DY KNOWS YOU 4R3 G4Y J4D3  
JADE: I know that... but this was a different thing...  
JADE: I’m genderfluid!  
TAVROS: ... just me that have no clue what that means?  
NEPETA: it mean you have a spectrum, (mostly like a scale) where everyday/ every week/ month you brain tells you that you identify with a different gender.  
JADE: thanks nep <3  
VRISKA: Urgh, can you two stop 8eing all cutesy all the time and just get together at least????????  
VRISKA: it’s so god famed frustrating  
VRISKA: for everyone!!!!!!!!  
TEREZI: WH4T W4S TH3 S3COND TH1NG?  
JOHN: well here goes-  
JOHN: im not a boy  
JOHN: I’m a girl   
JOHN: and I go by June...

The area fell silent as John June said those words. It took you some time to process what had happened and how to react. You just know that trans people wasn’t really new to the group. You already had Dave, Vriska and now June. 

You felt proud of Jade for coming out. And you were thankful that she had told you earlier. 

VRISKA: whatever, can we just get to class now? This conversation has taken longer than I expected.  
VRISKA: like, no offense to either June or Jade. It’s cool and all and I’m happy for ya 8oth.   
VRISKA: we still have class to get to.  
JUNE: thank you Vriska :B  
VRISKA: dude, we are in the same situation. I getcha  
ARADIA: I agree with vriska for once... we really need to get to class!  
JUNE: thank you all for listening :B

Rose, Vriska and Terezi walked in front, the three of them along with Kanaya, Gamzee and Tavros had a different class in the morning than you Jade, Dave, June, Aradia and Feferi did.

You passed through the hall to get to your lockers. Exchanging stuff from your bag, putting away you jacket, stuff like that. Once the bell had rung you all moved quickly through the hall to get to your classes.

First, Math. Hurray… you never really struggled with Math, it was something thta came naturally. But the teacher? God no. Like, some alternative motive. All you knew was that she didn’t like you. What so ever.

MRS.ANDERSON: alright class, I wish you to open page 86 and do tasks 17 to 37  
NEPETA: uh… mrs. Anderson? That’s 20 tasks... I’m not sure we can solve thta in less than an hour...  
MRS.ANDERSON: oh don’t worry dear, you can do to task 47.  
JUNE: wait how is that fair?  
JUNE: I don’t even think Jade can solve that many tasks in 2 hours!  
MRS. ANDERSON: quiet down. it’s just a punishment of miss Lejion breaking the dress code.  
NEPETA: wait what?  
MRS. ANDERSON: Miss Lejion are you aware you are showing both shoulders and bra straps?  
NEPETA: I umm...  
MRS. ANDERSON: boys will get distracted and then not do their school work. I advice you to take those bare shoulders to the principal and see what he has to say.  
DAVE: ok I’m sorry teach but like the only person nepeta would ever be distracting is jade and jade is such a useless lesbian that nepeta already would distract jade if she was in another room  
JADE: I’m gonna ignore the fact that you just said that out loud and that nepeta didn’t hear a single word you said.  
NEPETA: awww <3  
MRS. ANDERSON: quiet down Miss Strider  
ARADIA: it’s Mr strider.  
DAVE: (thanks bro)  
JUNE: ok class, everyone who was distracted by Nepeta’s shoulders, hold your hand up  
JUNE: no one?  
JUNE: that should be your answer Mrs  
MRS. ANDERSON: Mr Egbert you are stepping on my last buttons!  
JUNE: it’s MISS EGBERT   
MRS. ANDERSON: that’s it! All of you! Principles office. NOW!

You, Jade, June, Dave and aradia all moved from your seats and headed for the principals office. And to say the least, you were terrified! It was the first time you had gotten in trouble.

As you walked down the hall, you felt a hand sneak up by your hand that was now balled into a fist. You looked up to be faced with Jade smiling down at you. You grasp her hand and smiled back at her. Looking down again, you felt a kiss being placed on you cheek.

JADE: its going to be fine, nep  
JADE: I promise  
NEPETA: i really hope your right...  
NEPETA: ive never been in trouble before.  
DAVE: its really not that bad the principal is like  
DAVE: really cool  
DAVE: Mrs anderson sends so many of us there all the time so im pretty sure he is used to us just dropping in to tell us to skip that class and do the work at home  
DAVE: ive had so much experience with it  
DAVE: if you are worried he will call parents  
DAVE: he wont  
DAVE: like i said he is cool and nows better than to be transphobic and homophobic  
DAVE: he will let you off with a warning and thats that  
JUNE: yeah! You really shouldnt worry about it Nepeta!  
ROSE: Jade? Nepeta? Dave? Wait, what are you all doing here?  
ROSE: I thought all of you had class…?  
JADE: we did  
DAVE: Mrs anderson was a dick towards nep so we all just stood up to her  
DAVE: but then again she is a homophobic and transphobic piece of shit  
KANAYA: Dave I Would Recommend Not To Talk About Her That Way Even If I Do Agree With You.  
DAVE: damn it kan always gotta ruin the fun  
DAVE: well anyway you guys wanna join or do you have class  
KANAYA: Fortunately For All Of Us, Our Class Was Cancelled Since Our Teacher Called In Sick Last Minute For Us To Leave.  
KANAYA: They Didn’t Even Have Time To Find A Substitute.  
KANAYA: So Yes, We Would Gladly Go With You. Right Rose?  
ROSE: Of course.

**Author's Note:**

> I was planning on writing a cotton candy fanfic but this happened instead, hope it can make up for my lack of posting ^^;


End file.
